Spoken By The Supreme Master Ching Hai At The Group Meditation, N.Y., U.S.A. Apr. 16, 1995
(Originally In English)
You always throw your love at me, and squeeze me and confine me with your love. You don't know what that feels like. You never do. Wow! Maybe something close would be like you are not in love with someone but that someone is extremely, intensely in love with you. And he pursues you, he chases you, and he spys on you anywhere. That's the way you make me feel. I am sorry, unfortunately, that is what it is. If it sounds very bad, forgive me; but it is true sometimes. I feel: Oh, oh, help, help! I need space. You do love me that's for sure, definitely, no need insurance for that.
But your love is so intense, sometimes it kills me. Yes, truly. I cannot work with you if you carry your love around on your shoulders like that, without diffusing it, without controlling it. Just like you have a very good radio or television, but you don't control the volume to adjust for your hearing ability and your space as well as those of the neighbors. You know? And it becomes a disturbance, an annoyance instead of a pleasure. But never mind, I will keep telling you like this all the time, until the day I die. And then you will keep doing what you do and loving me the way you do, just till the day you die. And we both try very hard to accommodate each other. Well, that is the way it is.
I never saw anyone in the world like you, I mean, like you the disciples; it's terrifying. It really takes nerves and energy to withstand all this loving energy directed to you at all times and from all directions. This tremendous amount of energy makes you unbalanced, unnerved, if you are not stable enough, if you are not strong enough; and you know I am only so small. Talking about Kung Fu, I am the Master. You beat me all the time with your love. Oh God! And how can you deal with that if someone hates you? It's too easy, right? It is easy, because they don't want to see you, you don't want to see them, and both of us are in peace. But when someone loves you with such intensity of fire of the first love, of the last love, of the forever, lasting, sickening love, oh God, you are killed on the spot. And that is what I have to work through. You know, it takes a tremendous amount of resistance, strong power, whatever it is, I don't know.
I often feel shattered. When I come home, I say: "No, last time I see them. Last time, last time." But when I see you again, my heart always softens. And then I shed a few tears and then I say: "Okay, I'll see you again tomorrow." (Applause) And that's where my trouble begins and it begins all the time. It always begins anew.
Why can you not just work with me like ordinary colleagues or something like that. Then we can accomplish a lot, a lot of things; save a lot of time, money, energy; and can help the world much, much better. Instead, you hinder my work many times. But I cannot blame you, I cannot scold you because you love me. That's the problem. It's just that you cannot handle your love, and you don't put it in the right direction. With such a tremendous amount of loving energy, you could do anything. If you didn't only direct it at one point, at me, and waste it, and choke me with it, then we could do everything.
The reason why I can do it is the same reason why you can do it, because we are wise people, we have reclaimed our original wisdom. Apart from being busy and bound with work, we know how to escape. You know, there is an escape exit. We go and get our supply everyday, every time we want. Therefore, we become wise or we come back to the wise nature of our inborn understanding. So, we can do anything we want; but only if you can control your emotions, even to me - your so-called best friend, best, beloved, beautiful idol. (Applause)
It's just that you cannot control yourselves. You are so tense when you are around me. Any excuse will do just to get next to me. Any excuse will do just to talk to me and to explain to me all your nonsense excuses. I don't know why. If you want to help me, just do it. Be blind to my presence, blind to anyone else around you; then and only then can you help me. And you can accomplish everything that I want you to do and everything that you ever wanted to do. But you don't do that. None of you can do that up to now. That's the reason why you cannot help me. That's the reason why I have to get some outside professionals sometimes and have to endure also their obstinate personalities. Of course, they have their talent and they have their professional use.... Well, I have to do it.
At least they are not so tense when they are around me. And they don't trouble me. They don't bug me so much. They don't make excuses to come next to me. They even completely ignore me. And that's best for me. But I wished you could do the job they did or they do, because I know you'd do much better, with even more love and devotion and artistic talent and wisdom. But you hinder yourself, you stop all your flow of energy and talent just because you are so intense in your love for me.
For anyone, such an intense love is no good, no good for the recipient as well as for the one who projects this love. No good for both. It takes a tremendous amount to project something like that and it takes a tremendous amount to reject something like that. So both are in a battlefield. You know, it's very difficult, especially when I have to work, when I have to deal with mundane things. That is, mundane things are what we have to do in the worldly way. And you can't at the same time be explaining or taking care of this emotional matter.
But you don't know any space and time. You are above space and time. Anywhere I am, any time I am there, you go berserk, you go crazy. So that's the problem with us! It's a pity though. And I hope you will grow day by day and that we can work together, we can help the world better.
When you work, it should be purely work. Dedicate yourself to that job, just like the first one you do and the last one you'll ever do on earth again. Even Master's presence should not disturb you. Then you are perfect. That's why in the Zen tradition, they say: If the Buddha comes, kill the Buddha. Yeah! If the devil comes, kill the devil. Kill them both. Yes! Then you are free. Because if you are still attached to the Buddha, you are not free. I am sorry to say that. Because you are not yet the Buddha. You still love the Buddha. You are not one with the Buddha. If you are already one with the Buddha, you don't know if you love or you hate. You don't even smell the difference between you and the Buddha. You don't even detect the presence of another Buddha apart from your own Buddha. You know what I mean? There is no difference then.
You can't just stay and stare in the mirror all the time and love yourself. You do? You do that? Oh sometimes we do that. When we makeup or put on some clothes, we just watch a little bit. But that is different, different from when you intensely project your love into the mirror, into your own image and love yourself. That is sickening. So that is the same, the same thing, when you love a Buddha that way. That is your own image in the mirror and you project all your energy there and forget about everything else you could do.
But that is the beginning, you know, first love. When you begin to love, it's always intense like that. But I hope you'll grow up quickly and work in our marriage for the children. It's the same in the marriage, right? You know that very well. You first love each other, right, the love is very intense. You can't get away from each other, you can't bear to live without each other for one minute, or something like that. But later even though the love is still there, you must be more realistic, more practical. You must build a house together, you must build a life together. And then later, you have to leave for the sake of your offspring. That's the way we have to do.
Even though the love is still there, you just can't sit there and hold each other's hands all the time, like in the honeymoon time, even though the honeymoon memory is still fresh and you still love each other the way you did the first time. But you know you are secure now. You have each other and you know it. So it's okay to control the love energy in order to channel it into a more positive, more practical, more realistic way in order to protect each other and help each other to grow, and to help the children to grow.
The world is our children. We are the married people. We cannot stay in the honeymoon all the time, but we must work for our children's sake, the younger brothers and sisters, the younger souls, the ignorant, the unblessed, the poor, the poor in the soul and in the material. We cannot always hold each other's hands and look into each other's eyes, expressing our love. We know we love each other. What is the big deal having to show it all the time? Is it right?
Don't you know I love you? (Applause) And you think I don't know you love me? You think I am so kaput? Stupid? So why don't just be casual? I know you love me all the time. No one needs to tell me that, okay? But show your love by action, by your sacrifice. Sacrifice that love for something greater than personal satisfaction. Is that understandable to you? (Applause)
There is nothing greater than the love for a Master, between a Master and disciple. Nothing greater, according to the Bible and the scriptures of all religions. But I tell you, there is one thing greater than that: to sacrifice that love for other people. Understand? (Applause) Otherwise, I don't have to do anything too. I can just sit and enjoy your love and let you smother me, feed me, massage me, or let you show your devotion. But we have to do something more meaningful than just expressing our love.
You bug me more than you help. Yeah, I just feel the intense heat, even when you don't say anything at all, even when you don't truly try to physically go near me, but you try in your head. And the psychic power from your energy is really strong and disturbing because it's not pure. At that time, it's not pure love. It's pure possessing, pure demanding. And that's very uncomfortable. So make sure you understand what true love is.
True love, you don't feel burdened. The true love makes people feel very light all the time, and not obliged, not burdened. That's why you always want to see me and I don't always want to see you; I am sorry to say, because my love is very light, unconditional, carefree, no binding. But your love is intense, heavy sometimes, or too forceful and demanding my attention, my return of your love. And that is not true love. You understand what I mean? (Applause)
I cannot explain to you in detail how you did it, but you know very well what you did and how. Just like sometimes you try to help me, it's for sure that you try to help. But for that, you want me to know that you've helped me, you want that excuse as a ticket to go near, and then to explain to me that you don't have any motive. Just to go near and say: "I have no motive. I really don't want to get near You, it's just I am here." Or something like that. It's very difficult to explain to you the way it feels at that time. But I guess you understand, no?
Anytime you help me, don't try to make an excuse to go near or to project your intensive demand at me, then it is perfect. Then it's a true help, unconditional and praiseworthy. Otherwise, forget it. (Applause) You know what it's like when someone loves you and wants to possess you, and then you don't want that person. But he always hangs around, sticks around, and makes you feel so obliged. And sometimes you don't want to hurt him, but sometimes you can't bear it. You just don't know what to do. You know what I mean? That's the way you put me sometimes -- in that situation, and I just don't know how to explain but I hope you understand.
So make sure that every time you help someone including me, be pure, impersonal, unconditional. Just pure dedication to that work because it needs to be done. (Applause) Otherwise, the little help that we offer will cause so much damage in the flowing energy, obstruction in the flow of the energy, obstacle between the smooth relationship, stain in the perfect love.
Make sure there is no motive in your action, no demanding of any kind,
even love, even recognition, even praise, nothing. You work as if you are
the only one who knows that you're working, not even God knows. That is
perfect work. Okay? (Applause) And you will never give anyone pressure
in that fashion of doing. You see, maybe you love me because that is the
way I do things. I don't seek anything. I just do it because I do it.
Simple as that. Because I don't do anything else at that moment, I just do
that. I don't even need to ask why.