One night while I was meditating at home, I thought: "Many others can see the inner Master, and have such good experiences, why is it that I cannot? Surely, my longing is not any less than theirs!" I was somewhat taken by my complaining attitude.
Later, when I reflected, I noticed that many areas of my life needed improvement. For instance, some sisters practice together with their husbands, and their entire families are vegetarian, while I just practice alone and all my other family members still eat meat. Some sisters meditate more than I do and are more diligent. Consequently, I could not compare my practice with others so I felt quite inferior.
As well, I realized that I should not long for experiences but should be more diligent in my meditation and cherish the time to practice in order to catch up with others. Master has taught us that provided we are not taking steps in the opposite direction, then we are definitely making progress.
My heart then seemed to brighten up and I did not worry about not seeing the inner Master. I thought, "No matter whether I see the inner Master or not, I know Master is beside me taking care of me." This I know for certain.
Anyway, my thoughts kept wandering like this during the entire two and a half hours of meditation. Then I laid down to sleep. At that very moment, a beam of yellow light emerged from my wisdom eye, then my body flew upwards. Soaring! I flew very high and very far away. Soon I landed on a mountain, unable to fly anymore.
Just at that moment, two little boys came towards me and said: "We know where you want to go, just follow us!"
Before I followed them, I thought: "How do they know where I want to go?" The weather was very cold and there was still ice on the ground, making it very slippery indeed. I chastised myself for not wearing more clothes because it was freezing. Then, I thought about Master when She was in meditative retreat in the Himalayas. There the weather was even colder and She was wearing even less than me, yet She was able to stay for such a long time. Why could I not cope for such a short period of time!? I was so ashamed! I became determined to persist and hastened my footsteps so that I would warm up. Surprisingly, I immediately didn't feel cold anymore.
I walked for a little while and reached a flat area surrounded by mountains on all four sides. There was a stone table and a stone chair in front of me. I raised my head and saw Master sitting on the stone chair wearing a yellow Buddhist garment with a large collar, holding a stick.
I then ran forward crying: "Mama! Mama!" I fell into Her warm embrace. I could not say a word as if something was stuck in my throat. I could only cry incessantly.
Mama, You used Your holy hands to stroke my head and my whole body so lovingly. It was an unforgettable moment. Your little child felt so fortunate, feeling an exceptional sense of security and warmth in Your embrace. Such an unimaginable personal experience can not really be described by worldly language.
After a while, my tears ceased. I raised my head and looked around and noticed that Your shelter was rather simple and crude. Then I knew that the way You were living was rather austere. Your child felt so hurt that her tears fell again. I thought that while Mama gives blessings and warmth to tens of thousands of Her children, She in return suffers. How could I not feel hurt?
I asked Mama: "Why are You living here? How could You live in such a house? As Your children, how can we bear it? Why didn't You tell us to come earlier -- to accompany You and take care of You?"
Then, I heard Mama say: "I was willing for you to come soon as well!"
Later, I woke up still crying. My pillow was drenched. From that time onwards,
I have always called You, "Mama"! (although I am already a grandmother).
My dear Mama, just let me call You Mama a few more times!