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Sexual
Energy
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
International 3-day Retreat Los Angeles, CA.
U.S.A.December 16, 1998
(Originally in English)
Q:
This question is picking up on something You mentioned earlier about sexual
energy causing problems. Could You explain how that happens and what we
should do to deal with it?
M: How it happens? Do I have to explain that? (Laughter) I think you should
buy a book like the "Kama Sutra" or something like that. It explains better
than I ever could. (Laughter)
There are many kinds of energy, different levels, which we possess. Sexual
energy most resembles the ecstasy that we have during samadhi. Some people
enter samadhi and experience the ecstasy, so they are able to control the
sexual energy. Most people, when they have not reached that level and they
experience the sexual energy, it feels so good that it makes them off balance.
Their body cells react kind of differently. Just like after initiation
or when you come out of samadhi, your body feels sometimes weird, shaking,
or something. That's the way it is. That is why when people are in love,
it is just like walking on the clouds, and they are cuckoo sometimes. Because
of the sudden change in chemistry with the chemical reaction and the side
effects of it, it puts the mind off balance. They become either overly
happy or agitated for no reason, and they cannot reason with themselves
or with the partner anymore. That is why people in the old time advised
you not to do anything until your marriage. Not only because of the old-fashioned
concept to keep the virginity and all that, but just to let you both have
time for the body chemistry to get used to each other so when you finally
experience that ultimate feeling at the pleasure center, you don't offset
your balance. You can continue to be friends and get on with each other,
much as before you had sex.
If you have sex too soon, your mind hasn't got the time to assimilate and
to know each other; and the chemistry of the body, of the cells, is not
trained to be with another person with a different chemistry and a different
program, DNA and all that. So when you contact too soon, intimately, the
sexual energy will kind of explode and make you both off balance. That
is why people say if you have sex too soon, your marriage will not be very
good. It is not because the sex is a sin or anything, it's just that your
body is not used to it; it's just that your mind is not used to it; your
spiritual body has not been programmed so soon to be so intimate. When
two persons' powerful energy meets together, it is like a bomb. So, nothing
is bad; it is just the way you handle it.
For most people, when you don't have enlightenment to go with it as well,
and the whole society tells you that sex is sinful on top of it, psychologically,
physically, mentally, and emotionally, you feel guilty. That is bad for
your relationship. That is how relationships go wrong. People condemn sex
too much in the society, and on the other hand, they don't explain and
they don't program people into accepting sex as a part of life or part
of the relationship. Then from the psychological effect alone from the
society, from the moral standards from your background, you feel already
off balance and guilty and that's why you struggle within yourself. You
can't handle it. Also, the sexual energy is very strong; it's almost like
samadhi. For mortal people, it is just too much for them.
Q: So how should we handle it then if it seems like it's too much for us?
M: You have to understand the nature of sexual energy. But to understand
is one thing and to accept it is another thing because we have been brainwashed
for thousands of years that sex is bad. I can't even change that. If I
go out and preach to everyone that sex is good, sex is okay, they would
kill me. (Laughter) So all I can do is tell you to take it easy, reduce
it; slow it down if you can, if you want to and if that makes you feel
good. If you can't handle it, then the only thing is to reduce it or cut
it off until you're strong enough and can decide what to do. And if you
want to experience the fire, then you have to take the consequences. Even
if I sit here and tell you sex is not sinful or it is okay, you still cannot
accept it. Even if you trust me, your mind cannot accept it so quickly.
Q: Thank You, Master.
M: You're welcome. You see, nothing is really bad. It's just the way we
are programmed. For example, I say to you, "Don't gamble." Many of you
probably wonder, "Why? It's harmless. You just play a few paper cards and
bet one or two dollars. What harm can it be?" It is no harm, but it's the
side effect. Sometimes you lose, you become a bad loser, or the other person
loses, he becomes a bad loser, and this produces a bad energy between each
other. You lose a friend and hate each other, and things like that create
bad energy, negative energy that you have to bear. You feel choked, you
feel pressured. And if it comes to the worse case, you'll be addicted if
you win. If you lose, you'd want to regain it. If you win, you want to
continue. It's the human mind. It keeps training and training, and after
a while, you get used to gambling and you want more. You go to bigger places
and you might lose bigger time. Then you hurt yourself - you lose your
job, you lose your family, you might sell your wife and kids, even. Some
people do that. You see, it is the side effect that is bad. It is not truly
gambling that is bad.
Suppose I sit here and do some gambling - would you think that I'm very
bad or sinful? No. It might not be so because it means nothing to me. I
could play the whole night, I could play my whole life, and it wouldn't
mean anything to me. It would not affect me at all. I would not sell you
to make more money. But for most people, they can't handle it - just like
sex, they can't handle it. They are too weak for these powerful addictions.
Like cigarettes, you smoke one, tomorrow two, next day you have the whole
package, and then you can't quit. Or alcohol - how many people start with
one glass. That's all they start with, even half a glass, or even a sip.
Cocaine, anything, is the same. They start with this much, and that's how
it grow into trouble. That is why I say stay away from them, even though
I do not condemn anything. I know the soul chooses its own path, but whatever
you have chosen, whatever you want to choose, you have to know the consequences
and choose wisely. If you want to go Home quicker, if you decided that
this time you want to go Home, stay away from these distractions. It costs
you too much, mentally.
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